It was late one random evening and I was HANGRY.  In other words, so hungry that if I didn’t eat something soon, I would be angry. Ya’ll would not like me when I’m hangry…

 

Of course, nothing was open that sounded appetizing. I was located in a restaurant abyss, surrounded only by gas stations and a McDonald’s. I was in a foodie nightmare. It also doesn’t help that I am extremely lazy. I wasn’t really feeling the idea of putting on real clothes like a respectable citizen of society, THEN driving a minimum of  twenty minutes just for some grub. Nah, bruh.

So, now I was faced with a dilemma: I could get dressed and get some nosh OR I could remain pantsless and wait until the hangry really sets in and die from lack of food.

Pimp decisions. Pimp decisions….Ah, but wait! There is the internet and all of the wonderful things therein! Thank God for online ordering and delivery.

I admit, I am guilty of perusing the internet in search of something scrumptious to eat that is nearby and has great reviews. Don’t let me find out the place also delivers food to my house. That means I don’t even have to put on real pants…. PLEASE, TAKE MY MONEY!!!

I discovered a restaurant located near me called Pad Thai & Chinese Cuisine. So simple and straight to the point. The name is self-explanatory and doesn’t leave me wondering what’s on the menu. Who cares that the name of their restaurant is incredibly unimaginative?  These guys know how to cook.

I scoured the menu and decided on JUST three things: basil rolls, curry puffs, and drunken noodles.

Let’s start with the basil rolls!

The basil rolls were two huge rolls filled with shrimp, rice noodles, shredded carrots, bean sprouts and lots of basil tucked neatly into rice paper.

I was pleasantly surprised to find that they were NOT deep fried in grease. The basil rolls came chilled and were refreshing. I almost felt healthy eating them, that is, until I generously dipped them in the dark, sweet chili peanut sauce that is served on the side.  They were so delicious but the peanut sauce really added that extra kick!

The drunken noodles were next into the ring.

The entrée consisted of stir-fried flat noodles with bell peppers, cabbage, sweet basil and onions. I added chicken AND beef because I’m really indecisive  it seemed like the right thing to do!

Let’s be clear, my interest was piqued as soon as I read “drunken”. Apparently, the noodles were “drunken” with flavor, not alcohol.  I would have been disappointed in this, but it was pretty delicious so all was forgiven. Misleading nomenclature and all.

Last, but certainly not least, I sampled the curry puffs…

To be perfectly honest, the only reason I even ordered this was because they had run out of crab rangoons. I usually am not a huge fan of foodstuffs forced into pastry-like “pockets” that isn’t a dessert. I ate pepperoni and cheese hot pockets throughout college and I like to think I evolved. I’m “adulting” ,now. Alas, no more half-frozen, half scalding pockets of food for me. No sir!

Or so I thought…..

This was different. This was…new. The curry puff consists of roti skin filled with chicken, potatoes, onions and curry flavored stuffing, then deep fried to a greasy, flaky perfection.

I took one bite of the curry puff and my life was forever changed. It was heaven in my mouth.  I was acutely aware of my eyes rolling to the back of my head and I may or not have been ashamed about it. It was that good!!! The only thing wrong with my new favorite handheld food pocket, is that I only had two… le sigh.

I must have been going hard on my curry puffs, because my pup, Cookiee Bada$$ [yes, that is her real name] came to see what all of the hubbub was about.

Judging me, as usual…

I thoroughly enjoyed my dinner. ESPECIALLY the curry puffs, obviously. Pad Thai go order based strictly off internet reviews and sight unseenI have visited the restaurant a few times since ordering from them and I haven’t been disappointed, yet. Admittedly, the interior of the restaurant is about as fancy as its name, but don’t let the décor discourage you from giving them the good ol’ college try. Nothing spectacular as far as aesthetics but you didn’t come for decor…you came for great food. And they HAVE THAT …CONSISTENTLY. The people that own Pad Thai are nice and the food is delicious! Let me know what you guise think…

Well, its been fun. Before I skedaddle, I would like you to read this hilarious joke:

Santa and Banta, along with some friends agreed to try a Thai Restaurant.
While looking at the menu, Banta noticed Santa looking at the vegetarian section of the menu.
“What would you like Santa?” he asked.
“I’m looking at this Eggplant Spicy dish,” Santa replied.
“Santa, you like meat and potatoes. You won’t like that dish,” Banta said.
“What do you know,” answered Santa, “I`m getting it.”
“Santa, I`m telling you, you are a meat and potatoes kind of guy. You won’t like it!” Banta exclaimed.
“I’m getting it and that is the last word!” says Santa.
A short while later the meals arrive at the table.
Santa looks down and his dish and says to Banta, “Where are my eggs? ”

.

My bestie, Raisa, came into town and stayed with me for a couple days. She had to visit me because she missed me so much. It was purely coincidental that Beyonce was doing a concert in town. Whatever. Anywhoo, one thing that makes us besties is our love of food. Like, eating is a major pastime of ours.

We had a major sweet tooth to conquer, so we went on search for something delectable. We originally went to a fro-yo spot, but decided that a cupcake would be more satisfying. Luckily, Cami Cakes was right next door!

LOOK AT ALLA DESE CAKES!!!!!!!!

OH, HEYYYYYYY RAISA!

*sings* ISN’T SHE LOOOVVVEELY!

It was definitely a lot of cupcakes to choose from. Luckily, Taylor was there and she helped me and Raisa narrow it down to just four cupcakes.

Isn’t Taylor a doll? Such sweetheart, and helpful, too!

Here’s a close up of the bounty!

(top left, counterclockwise) strawberries ‘n creme, black & white, cami “sweetheart” and white chocolate macadamia nut

First, we tried the black and white cupcake. It was a rich, dark chocolate cupcake with a rich buttercream frosting and a Hershey kiss on top. The classic Devil’s food cupcake.

Next up was the white chocolate macadamia nut cupcake. Its a white cupcake with cream cheese icing. It has chocolate chips and macadamia nuts on top. It tasted just like the cookie. It was my favorite cupcake that was not chocolate.

I wanted to try something a little less traditional for a cupcake flavor so I tried the strawberries ‘n creme cupcake. Its a yellow cupcake with vanilla icing mixed with a hint of strawberry.Not too sweet, but it perfectly satisfies the sweet tooth.

Me and Raisa both agreed on the “cami sweetheart” as the crowd favorite. Its Cami’s version of the classic hostess cake but in cupcake form. A rich chocolate cupcake topped with a layer of cream cheese. The top layer consisted of a rich and creamy chocolate ganache. The Hostess cupcake’s rich cousin.

In Raisa’s words “, Its a HEAVY HITTER!”

Of course we had to wash it all down with a Cami cake bottled water. Look at the damage!

This was not a game. We did not come here to play… BETTA RECOGNIZE!

So if you’re looking for a sweet tooth fix, we definitely suggest getting the “Cami Sweetheart” but the “Strawberries ‘N Creme” is the second favorite.  Tell Taylor we said hello!

I simply must go. But before I do, i have to inform you that:

Hey guys! I have been absent for a little while. But worry not, because I never stopped eating delicious foods! So let’s catch up, shall we?

A few days ago my Momz and I spent some quality mother-daughter time in downtown Birmingham, Alabama. Not all of my followers know that I am originally from Alabama [Bama raised me, Atlanta pays me…ya feel me shawty, *chuckles*]. It felt nice to be near home for a few days. Me and Momz decided prior to our trip that we would attempt a pescatarian diet. In other words, no eating delicious, scrumptious, yummy,tasty meat. Just seafood, veggies and grains…

Basically.

I showed Momz how to look up restaurants nearby on my smartphone (gotta love modern technology) and she picked out The Fish Market, located on 22nd Street in Birmingham. The Fish Market boasts “,the only inexpensive fresh seafood in Birmingham”. We will see about that…

I honestly did not think to take pictures of the inside or outside of the restaurant…I was pretty focused on just filling my tummy.  When we first arrived we were not quite sure if we were at the right place. It was pretty much warehouse. However, when we walked inside, we were greeted with copper cooking pots and Greek inspired decorations. One side of the restaurant was filled with large lobster and fish holding tanks (I felt like Garfield, watching my dinner swim around, unaware of its untimely fate) and sauces and oils and such that you could purchase and make your own meals at home. Pretty cool.

We sat down immediately and looked at the HUGE list of different types of seafood we could order. It had so many types of fish that you could choose from. There were about five types of fish that I had personally never heard of. Like, what in the entire <expletive> is a “trigger” fish? Serious question.

Anywhoo, I perused the menu and decided to try the “Baked Snapper Creole”. The snapper was seasoned with a blend of creole spices, blackened and smothered in a savory tomato sauce with garlic, bell peppers and onions.

I also ordered a side of hushpuppies and greek salad with feta cheese and the homemade italian dressing.

The dishes looked so simple, but it was soooooo delicious. I enjoyed every last bite. I barely had enough patience to take a picture of it all. I attempted to take a close up picture of the inside of the hushpuppies:

 

EPIC FAIL. Dah well. The hush puppies were also delish. I took the liberty of getting a good bite so you could see the inside.

Me and Momz enjoyed ur meals (she ordered the “Athenian Tilapia” topped with grilled onions, marinated Greek olives, sliced tomatoes creamy feta cheese & Greek spices–I sampled a little of her entree and it was also pretty <expletive redacted> tasty). We were both as full as a tick on a hound dog. Happy and satisfied. Definitely would recommend The Fish Market to all of my seafood-loving homies.

Being a pescatarian is going to be easy peezy!

Thanks for reading guys! Before I say au revoir, I leave you with this thoughtful quote to ponder upon:

“Why does Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I’m halfway through my fishburger and I realize, Oh my God. I could be eating a slow learner.” ~Lynda Montgomery

My sweet tooth is HUGE…and demanding. Disrespectful, even. So, when it calls, I go running [*chuckles* no, not literally]. Today it called. Screamed, actually.

So what did I do? I looked up a place to help satisfy my sugar craving. Thank God for smartphones! As a result, I stumbled upon Sugar Benders, a quaint little bakery located in Paper Mill Village in East Cobb. It is such a cute little place!

Sugar Benders specializes in custom cakes and such. It almost made me want to get married and plan a wedding just so that I could order a wedding cake. Unfortunately, I do not believe you can marry yourself. A shame, really. Anywhoo, they have a large selection of goodies to choose from. See?

 

Look at all those goodies! And y’all know that I am an extreme maximizer. Which is a nice way to say that I am indecisive. So, it took me a few minutes to decided what I wanted.

Thank goodness for Emily!

 

Isn’t she a doll? She gave me many helpful suggestions, and after much deliberation, I finally decided on the lemon bar and the “mega” brownie.

 

Aren’t they some beauties?

The lemon bar was perfectly..lemony. Perfectly tart. It had a delicate, buttery crust and a smooth, soft lemon filling. It was like sunshine in my mouth. And who doesn’t like sunshine in their mouth? The meringue cream on top brought it all together.

Oh, and the mega brownie? Emily suggested that when I get home, I should wrap it in a paper towel, warm it in the microwave and then top it with ice cream. That would have been lovely, except that it barely made it home. It really was not my fault. It practically taunted me with its chocolatey goodness. I had to nibble on it. It was so fudgy and it practically melted in my mouth. Not to mention that the name was perfect for its size. The “mega” brownie was HUMONGOUS.

Both the lemon bar and the brownie were rich. So rich, that I had to eat them in shifts and chase it with the a glass of water. Whaddya know!?  Desserts that make you increase your water intake? That kind of makes it healthy! Right? No? Oh, whatever. Just know that theses two treat were well worth the calories.

 

Before I depart, I must leave you with this hilarious joke:

Farmer Brown is lying on his deathbed barely able to breathe. Just as he is about to expire, the aroma of freshly baked brownies comes to him. He has always had a passion for this confection and thinks to himself,”If I could just have one more brownie I could die in peace!”

He calls to his wife but his voice is so frail she cannot hear him. Not getting an answer, he slides out of the bed and onto the floor. He drags himself across the room and out into the hallway.

Down the hall and down the stairs he goes ever so slowly, crawling hand over hand closer, to that heavenly smell. At the bottom of the stairs, he pulls himself along painfully — hand over hand closer to that delicious aroma.

He drags himself across the living room across the dining room, and finally up into his chair at the dining table. He reaches across the table and grabs the tray of freshly baked brownies.

As he drags the tray towards himself it makes a scraping noise, and suddenly he hears his wife yell from the kitchen, “Don’t touch the brownies, they’re for the funeral!”

 

So. Today was my first day back in the gym after months of laziness and broken new years resolutions. I felt great! So great, that I decided to celebrate. What better way to celebrate my first step toward better health than to fuel my body with something nutritious.

JUST KIDDING!

I wanted something FRIED!

After much deliberation, I decided that I wanted a fried oyster po’ boy. But from where!?! Unfortunately, I live way too far from New Orleans to get one from Bourbon or Canal Street. Le sigh. Thankfully, with the help of my Scoutmob app on my phone, I discovered On The Bayou. On The Bayou is this cute little eatery in Smyrna that claims to serve up “authentic” Creole and Cajun food.  Note that I said authentic? TUH! We shall see about that! Although I am not a Creole princess [I pray that I turn into one everyday], my family has taken annual trips to New Orleans since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. As a result, I do believe i have had my fair share of beignets and fishbowls and know my way around a po’ boy. I]

Anywhoo, when I walked in I was greeted by John [which I found out his pops owns the joint] and I immediately felt at home.  New Orleans is known for its laid back vibe and On The Bayou gave me that familiar feeling. I half expected to look out the window and see Bourbon Street. John gave me the rundown of the menu but I knew what I came for. I ordered the twelve inch po’ boy, half with oysters and the other half with tilapia. FRIED. HARD. My body was ready. A short time later, the chef [because i am VIP, DUH!] brought out my plate and said “, I hope you’re HONGRY!” And boy was I…

 

 

 

Look at it…

 

LOOK AT IT!!!

 

Look how beautiful it is. You see it?! And it was as delicious as it looked. GET IN MY BELLY!!!

From its Leidenheimer bread straight from the bakery, fresh and perfectly battered oysters and tilapia, shredded lettuce, tomatoes, pickles and mayo. So simple. So perfect. SOOOOO DELICIOUS.

YALL. It was perfection. I made love to that po’boy. With my mouth. It was not PG. And I am only partially kidding. I often paused to look at it and question my previous life decisions. Because clearly I was living life wrong before I ate it. But now I am redeemed.

Ok. But seriously. It was very delicious. And I will be back and I will be bringing my parents, because my Pops loves him some gumbo.

 

Before I bid you adieu, I leave you with this hilarious joke:

Q. Why don’t oysters give to charity?

A. Because they’re shellfish.